The Kolden Report: Inspiring others

The Existentialist by Terry Spinks

Have you ever had a moment in your life when the words of another struck you quite powerfully?    Today, I want to share with you one such  moment. 

To give you a bit of background, the writer's name is Terry Spinks and he is Australian.    As with MANY of my subscribers, I have yet to meet Terry although we have exchanged a message or two aside from my "Kolden Reports".   Below,  (with his permission) is Terry's  response  to  my "Loving Kindness" report sent out last week.    I hope you are as moved by the wisdom in his words, as I am.    Thank you Terry, for sharing a piece of your soul.

Hi Kitty,

  Some beautiful photos in this report.  I'd be hard pressed to choose a favourite.  Perhaps "Light my fire", or maybe "Fly by".  I zoomed in on the bird in Fly by.  To my untrained eyes it looks like it could be an eagle.  And as I regarded it my mind began to wander.  Humans gained so much by climbing down out of the trees, didn't we?  But I think we lost a lot, too.  And for all of our intelligence, and wisdom, I don't know that we are actually capable of appreciating what we traded for self-awareness.  We are constrained by the inhibitions of society - thank goodness!  The thin veneer of civilization seems more weathered and frayed now than ever before.  It seems our own mortality and that of our loved ones is a filter that shapes our decisions as we plod through life.  Not so for birds and animals who happily never heard of Maslow.  Food, shelter, and if the sun is shining - a mate.  I shouldn't ramble, Kitty.  Though for some reason, your bird started a series of thoughts that reminded me of a short little piece I wrote a decade or so ago...

The Existentialist…..by Terry Spinks

I am surrounded by darkness as I fall headlong back into myself.  

Memories rush by and recede like one-dimensional projections on the walls of my unconscious.  I see who I am and I see who I once was.  

What is the purpose of this journey back through time, back through my time?

Slowing now, the reel nearly rewound.  Memories linger just long enough to tantalize, and to impart some sense of purpose or belonging.  

Almost within my grasp if I can but resist the urge to try and capture it there is a feeling of 'what' and more important, of 'why'.

I am at the first crossroad.  I have come back along the path that I have travelled retracing each step, each experience, and each choice.

The first crossroad; the point at which I have amassed enough experience to make my first decision - shall I stand or shall I fall, will I say "yes" or say "no"?  This is where "I" began.

I am now who I am and where I am as a result of all my decisions.  I am the sum total of my choices.  They have delivered me to this point; this sentence; this full stop.

*********************************************************************************************************************************"I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me."- Herman Hesse, Demain: Die Geschichte von Emil Sinclairs Jugend

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